APRIL,Edition # 23, 2001

Well… me, and ma' big mouth!
My writings were supposed to be a response to a bit of prodding from the editor, and I got carried away.
Next thing I know - its ALL THERE!
True, I have been around.
Yes, I have opened a few new pharmacies.
Yes, am/was into technology.
Others will judge if I am good at what I do, and the way I do it .

OK fellas - I would like you all to lighten up!

…… Is it true that lawyers can take a business tax deduction for their Viagra prescription, since it enhances their performance at what they do for a living?

…… A man was walking down the street past a mental institution which had a high fence surrounding it. He heard a number of people shouting "13" … "13" … "13" and he became curious. He found a knothole big enough to look through, bent over and peered in. He was immediately poked in the eye by a finger as a new chant went up "14"…"14" …"14" !

…… If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos … then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

"What are your experiences in the current locum environment?"

Day One - new Pharmacy - never been there before.
You always arrive about half an hour early, because you don't know how long it will take you to get there.
You fall asleep in the car, and are late anyway!
You stand outside the front door, waiting for the staff to arrive, but they always enter by the back door, and have been given strict instructions not to go in until the PIC arrives. At about 9:15 someone comes looking for you.
You wander in, and are introduced to five or six people whose names you instantly forget (and you never DO get to know their surnames!).
Then you notice the tidal wave of 20 methadone patients pushing their way through the door.
"Methadone? - I've never done methadone!"
The techo tries to run you through it, as the sweat breaks out on your forehead, and runs down your back, soaking your shirt. You almost give 40 mls to patient number 40 who should get a 6ml dose. You knock several of the little plastic cups over (isn't that stuff sticky?), your hands are shaking, and you contemplate a dose for yourself. You wonder how you are going to bodgie the register. You get through the dosing and the takeaways, but you don't know how you did it!
The next day is worse, but you get the hang of it by the end of the first week.
The techo is a bit reserved - "is he going to be the I'm-in-charge type, or is he just going to be hopeless?
Either way, I'll show him who is REALLY in charge!"
Scripts are being thrust at you in little baskets, festooned with paperclips and clothes pegs and post-it notes. The scripts are somewhere in the bottom, and as you pull them out, everything lands on the floor.
You find a small space on the bench to do the checking, only to find that Brenda needs to be in there!
You are finally allocated a space in the toilet.
The only garbage bin in the dispensary is conveniently placed under the bench, just below waist level right in front of the techo. Every time you want to dispose of a bit of paper (you dare not drop it on the floor - untidy boy!) you run the risk of being charged with sexual assault.
You spot a dispensing error.
How should you tackle this?
Honour is at stake here!
"Look, I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but would you mind having another look at this one - when you're ready?"
She grabs it from you, tries to blame it on you, and fixes it, with a huff and a puff.
You are absolved when YOU make a mistake, and she can get her own back, and she starts to think you might just be human.
You wander out into the shop.
The girls' fingers are dancing over the register, with confidence, and you think, "I will give this a go".
Ten minutes later, with five staff and five impatient customers in front of you, someone finally pushes you out of the way, and you retreat into the dispensary, and make a serious attempt to understand the systems, and try to look like you are in control.

BE GENTLE WITH YOUR LOCUM - IT IS QUITE HARD IF YOU TRY TO DO IT PROPERLY. That's enough for one session.

The Last Word:
Why don't you give CD's to Ian Thorpe?
Because he breaks records.
Why does Ian Thorpe break records?
Because they told him John Hopoate was behind him!

Editor's Note
Roy has asked to circulate a special message to see if he is able to re-establish contact with someone previously associated with him in an informal bulletin, known as "Krusty's Korner", which was performed on the old Amfac Intranet. Roy, of course, was "Krusty".
The message reads:
"Krusty is seeking Inka The Swede. If anyone - maybe Anne-Two-Heads is on here - she knows where Inka is. Anyone who remembers the Amfac intranet will know Inka intimately. She is a good sort, and I would like to know she is still out there."

Anyone who knows where Inka is, please e-mail roy.stevenson@hunterlink.net.au

With good humour and a high degree of professionalism, it is obvious that Roy is providing a first class service as a locum.
I am sure there are a number of prospective empoyers who would like to meet him.

Pharmacists wishing to contact Roy can do so directly:
Roy S.Stevenson Ph.C. M.P.S.,
Locum Pharmacist
40 Northminster Way
RATHMINES 2283.
Tel 0402 406 691 Fax 0249 75 2334
ABN 11 585 465 385

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