JUNE,Edition # 27, 2001

GST - how many of you have discovered that the MYOB bookkeeping system will no longer export to the Australian Taxation Office (ATO) electronic communications interface (ECI)?
I tried to submit my April Business Activity Statement (BAS) electronically, but got error messages.
I e-mailed them, and was told that, “The ATO had decided to change the way things are done, but had not told anyone”.
I expressed the opinion that I thought the ATO-ECI department was the ATO, and I was told that they are, but they are streets ahead of the Taxation Office.

So while they sort out this mess of their own making, its back to punching in the numbers manually again.
At least we can still submit electronically, but we cannot export our figures from MYOB, or any other accounting package.
This is real “left hand” and “right hand” stuff!
It a a mess, and getting worse.
GST will bring this government down!
I personally am totally pissed off with it, but which political party would make it better?
It seems that the ATO – the people who are supposed to run it – cannot get it right.
What to do ???
I could always go back to Scotland … VAT worked there OK 25 years ago.

Just a couple of “bad day” experiences.
Closed up at a pharmacy, and suddenly realised that I must have locked my keys in my car that morning.
But I am SMART!
I have a spare key hidden under the car … no worries, mate!
I wriggle under the car, get the key, open the door, only to find the battery has gone flat somehow with the key on aux all day.
Call the National Road Motorists Association (NRMA).
Get up next morning …. where is the shop key????
Search and search … no key … must have fallen out of my pocket while wriggling under the car.
Drive to pharmacy – no key on the ground.
Call a locksmith who gets us in, but nobody has keys to lock up at night!
Get locksmith back to make a new key for the lock.
That day’s work cost ME $90!!!!
A "Bad Key Day"!

Fronted up this week for day one at a new pharmacy.
Sucked in my spreading gut, tried to make my sparse hair look less sparse, and tried to look totally in control of myself.
“Hi, I’m Roy”.
About 5 minutes later, one of the girls told me I had something on my shoe.
Sure enough there was some brown stuff on my toe cap – dog stuff – oh no!
How embarrassing!
Look at the other shoe and see that the situation is much worse.
I had stood right in the middle of a "Great Dane Massive Dog Poop".
I wear these thick soled shoes with a deep tread on them, and the poop had squeezed out, right up the side of the shoe.
Thought briefly about cleaning it off in the dispensary sink, but decided this would not enhance my image, and would surely go round the grapevine like wildfire!
I will not disgust you more by going into the details of the cleaning process, but I have to tell you it was not just a “wipe on the grass” job.
I think I am a Loser and a Failure, or maybe STUFF HAPPENS!
Ends

Editor's Note:
With a unique brand of humour, a capacity for expecting the unexpected and a high degree of professionalism, it is obvious that Roy is providing a first class service as a locum.
I am sure there are a number of prospective employers who would like to meet him. He now has a website located at:

http://www.computachem.com.au/locums/RoyStevenson.html

You can arrange more information, and a locum booking, from this site.

Roy S.Stevenson Ph.C. M.P.S.,
Locum Pharmacist
40 Northminster Way
RATHMINES 2283.
Tel 4975 5548 Mob. 0402 406 691 Fax 0249 75 2334
ABN 11 585 465 385

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