MAY,Edition # 25, 2001

G'Gay from Roy "Krusty" Stevenson...
Krusty suited me, because I could say things and then deny that I had said them … my psychiatrist says that is good for me. Examples follow:

"Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any."

"Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick."

"Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you haven't fallen asleep yet."
The topic of the sermon for this edition….

TRUTH IN PHARMACY

Today, I opened the Guild Bulletin, and I see all these guys in dinner suits, in bed with the politicians.
OK, it's a lousy job, and somebody has to do it, but is it HONEST?
I read the most recent Bulletin, and I see the exhortations for pharmacists to embrace the Methadone Program - for the "good of the profession", and I remember being called an nitwit, and being told that I should not treat patients (are they "patients"?) like second class citizens, to which I replied "Mate, you ARE a second class citizen!"
I took an email from a very good mate of mine, who was trying to remind me that I am a "Good Pharmacist", and I replied, "what IS that!!!???".
I have found in my limited experience as a locum, that I can only be as good as the shoes I am filling.
If the patients of that pharmacist who's shoes I am filling expect very little, then they expect very little from me, and I often find myself talking right over the heads of their patients, and I run out of words.
I go through the back, and I bang my head against a brick wall.
I feel better.
I go in with a laptop/printer/scanner and $5000 worth of software to support me. Who gives a damn?
I would appreciate the courtesy of the time to be able to access it all - the patient would be the better for it, and - sure as hell - so would I!
Frustrating stuff … system is wrong … wrong …
Just go in and do the job, and make sure you leave a GST invoice.

However … to protect myself from booking cancellations (!), I have to say that I find that the guys (or maybe I should say, their pharmacies), which I am told are a "worry", often turn out to be quite professionally challenging.
I like a challenge.
I like change.
Maybe all pharmacists should be required to work (say) a couple of weeks in every year in somebody else's pharmacy. Maybe, that way, we could reduce the four wall syndrome in our profession.
I can recommend it.
I also have found that some pharmacies are saved by their staff, and that some pharmacists do not realise that that is the case.
I was a Pharmacist Advice Pharmacy.
I tried for six years to make it work.
It is a good/great concept.
I really, REALLY tried.
I really, REALLY found it professionally satisfying.
The problem with the concept, is the patient's perception of what we are trying to do - serious patient education is required, as well as educating me.

I questioned the concept vehemently for all of these six years.
I had arguments, which almost reduced me to tears, and obviously had the same effect on the drivers of that concept.
I was told that I "wasn't doing it right - Joe Blogg can do it… Call him, Ask him what you are doing wrong.".
However, when I asked the reps, they would tell me … "Joe Bloggs…?
He is never there .. He is always through the back.."
or "Joe Bloggs .. He has six pharmacies … Who/where is he..??
HONESTY!!??
I am constantly made to feel inadequate as a pharmacist, by the claims, which are made on my behalf.
I am an old Fart.
I am just a Ph.C.!
I have trouble SAYING "Pharmacodynamics" and "Pharmacokinetics", far less know what they mean.
If someone shoves a creatinine clearance number under my nose, what do I say…?
This mate of mine, can bloody well tell them, but do they bloody well care?
Do they expect THAT of their bloody pharmacist?
Why do our leaders say that we can deliver THAT….?
We are a generation away from THAT.
The big problem for Pharmacy is that can the next generation stay in the profession long enough to deliver "THAT"?
Before I sold, I was looking for a graduate/pharmacist/whatever, who could thrash out scripts at the same speed I could, but do it for $60,000 pa ------
in your dreams!

I have been helping with some building work at home.
I don't need to tell you that every one of these tradesmen who comes on the job, gets paid more than I do.
My calculation is that if I do an hour's work, which saves me paying one of these guys $40 an hour, - I am in front.
If I pay them $40 after (my) tax, that equates to about 26 of my hard earned dollars.
I used to think that it was better for me to work at what I know, so that I could pay someone else to do what they know - NO MORE!
Am I wrong fellas - talk to me…!
I have the bloody GST Man on my back, trying to "help", and show me how to run GST in a pharmacy.
WATCH MY LIPS… I do not run a pharmacy anymore!
What a bloody waste of everybody's time!
Problem is that they owe me $6500 … they take my cheques for GST I have "collected" but this guy seems to have put a stop on any/all refunds.
Even the Krusty One cannot complain! (ATO Guy will hang me out to dry!!!) However …. I have another meeting with the Guy next week
Watch out!
THERE …. Heaps of room for comment here … Roy "Krusty" Stevenson is out of line …. "Let's tell him" …. Where are you all … you LURKERS … get on here and take a shot…
PS … this will probably be the last raving from me. If the editor does not bar me, there are people in a van with darkened windows who will take me away.
PPS … actually… I feel better now…..

The Last Word:
An elderly couple were sitting on their couch one night, when the husband said "Honey, you should go bra-less"
Excited, the wife says,
"You think my breasts are still perky enough to go bra-less?"
The husband replies,
"No, but maybe it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face!"

Ends
With a unique brand of humour and a high degree of professionalism, it is obvious that Roy is providing a first class service as a locum.
I am sure there are a number of prospective empoyers who would like to meet him. He now has a website located at:

http://www.computachem.com.au/locums/RoyStevenson.html

You can arrange more information, and a locum booking, from this site.

Roy S.Stevenson Ph.C. M.P.S.,
Locum Pharmacist
40 Northminster Way
RATHMINES 2283.
Tel 0402 406 691 Fax 0249 75 2334
ABN 11 585 465 385

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